The little voice in my head is on vacay. I have myself completely to myself, and I haven't done a thing. Today was completely useless because my womanhood asserted itself which always results in fatigue, illness and severe cramping. Plus my stomach hurt in the acidic way as well. By three o'clock in the afternoon people were looking at me funny and offering me coffee. I couldn't complete sentences.

I came home to lay down with my heating pad and slept until eight o'clock. Now I'm on the couch watching one of my favorite stories, The Royal Tenenbaums.

Something has been niggling at me. My brownskin twin and I were talking about me and men. She always asks me what I'm looking for - usually in terms of characteristics and types of men. This time she asked me what I'm looking for as far as what type of relationship - boytoy or boyfriend?

I told her a.) I'm not looking for anything because when you're looking for something, you'll make it happen with the wrong person and b.) I don't really know what I want, but I hope I'll know it when I see it. She asserted that I need to figure out what I want. Which left me wondering.

Then I watched Stranger than Fiction again last night, and it struck me that the resulting relationship of that story is a pretty nice model of what I might want. At one point, they are at her house, and they sit on her couch and watch an old movie together after she's made him meatloaf and chocolate pudding. It looked really nice. I like those kinds of stories, where the love interests are just nice to each other, and do normal things together, and it's all pretty easy-going. I had a moderately dramatic childhood, so I'm not on the market for anymore excitement. I prefer the idea of laughing together on the couch, watching comedy to the idea of flying off to moonlit Paris on a moment's notice.


I'm okay with meatloaf and chocolate pudding. It sounds pretty good to me.