It's been some time, and for that I am genuinely sorry.

I'm thinking about something a new colleague said yesterday. She said that she thinks that loneliness is the hardest emotion to bear, and I disagreed. I think the loss of a child is the hardest thing to bear.

However, loneliness is probably one of my least favorites.

I do not think it is unbearable. I don't want to bear it forever, though.

Singlehood has a lot to say for itself. I get to do what I want, when I want. I don't have to ask permission to go to school, or to stay out late, or to eat what I want, or to raise my kid how I want. I much prefer being alone to being with the wrong person for any amount of time.

But I miss things. Being touched, and laughing with someone. Talking late in the night wrapped up in blankets. Having in-jokes and making eye contact that no one sees, or if they do, they don't understand because they don't speak the language.

I'll wait. I say that I'm not patient, but that is not entirely accurate. I will wait and work forever for the things that I want, so I am patient in my persistence. I do, though, get frustrated in the waiting.

But I still wait.