I had a horrible dream last night that the little voice in my head was kidnapped, incestuously raped, impregnated, and then killed. Sent back to me in a coffin and when I opened it, her head rolled out to me.

It happened because, in my dream, I was so gullible and stupid and desperate to find someone who would love us, that it wasn't until I was about to get on a plane to another country with a man that I thought was the one that I realized he'd never asked me about her biological father. (It occurred to me as well that neither one of myself or my daughter had the appropriate documents to travel overseas.) When I questioned him, he was honest - told me her father's name, that he was living in the country we were going to with a very, very young girl that he forced all the time to dress like a boy, and he'd paid my new "love" to get my daughter. Then he drugged me.

The next scene was me, crazy, alone in a great big house, being observed and mocked by the neighborhood until the truck with her coffin showed up. When her head rolled out to me no one said anything to me anymore.

I just want to feel safe. But I'm terrified of being stupid.