It's been a few days. I'm overrun by tasks and activities driven by my impending move and standardized test. However, I can tell you that my two new dream men are still Spock and Fat Jesus. (I haven't touched on Fat Jesus yet because I haven't mentioned the sublime hangover I finally got to experience over the holidays).

Today, however, I'd like to share a valuable life lesson that I learned wholeheartedly and will never forget. This morning I had an appointment with el doctor de las mujeres. I forgot, though, until I got to work and my Outlook reminded me. So I had not made any special effort to shave the legs or paint the toenails. I dismissed those concerns - my doctor is at least 65 and inured to the sight of my hairy (though very blonde in that regard) legs, I'm sure.

I got there four minutes early, and my doctor was behind schedule. An hour and fifteen minutes later, I finally got ushered into a room by a wonderful nurse who informed me that Dr. was late because he has a med student shadowing him today, and would I grant permission for the student to observe my annual examination?

Ladies, please, PLEASE. Before you ever answer this question, SNEAK A PEEK AT THE MEDICAL STUDENT FIRST.

Being incredibly hungry, incredibly late, and incredibly pro-education, I hastily answered, "Of course!"

I should have asked, "How he look?" Because, dreadfully, I forgot about my legs and my toenails.

Unshaven, unpainted, I lay in the most inglorious position in the world with an ubercute medical student staring me in the...well, it sure as hell wasn't my face. And above me during the entire procedure was a Raggedy Ann doll hanging from the ceiling with a yellow lei around her neck and a handwritten cardboard sign in her hands that said, "RELAX."

Fortunately, I am no amateur at public humiliation and self-embarrassment - this was not my first rodeo. I am also gracious and funny in the oddest situations. When the doctor inserted the speculum and kindly asked me how I was, I said, "Oh, I'm relaxed. I'm in my zen place, doing mental yoga." Due to deep breathing and my Aspergerish aversion to eye contact, I could ignore the HAWT MEDICAL STUDENT in front of me and manage to relax all the right muscles.

He did actually see me with my clothes on, which were almost cute enough to save the day. As I left, though, I knew in my heart - there was one future doctor I could safely mark off my list of potentials.