today i was wandering through on my way to work (i do that sometimes, just wander through), and i realized that somewhere in a blonde, icy, and distant (maybe european?) place, i meet every aesthetic requirement of their blonde and icy culture. they would think me a godesse. i would be their ideal, the muse of their artists and poets. they would dress me in their turtleneck sweaters and oddly-well-fitting pants. but then i looked around the faces in the crowd and in all that diversity i realized that, in other cultures, the not-blonde cultures, i am their godzilla. i am the lurking, hulking symbol of dread and awe (not the good kind) that haunts their nightmares and horror movies. these cultures use me to scare their children into obedience and their women into submission. it goes to show, it's all about perspective.

speaking of perspective, i saw a pink egg-timer the other day that made me sublimely happy. maybe i lambast the 50's housewife archetype so often because somewhere deep inside of me, i'm already a 50's housewife. just waiting for the apron and the string of pearls. i guess it's time to embrace the donna reed in me.

I took the little voice in my head to see The Wizard of Oz last night on the big screen, which was a moment that I wouldn't give up for every penny in the twenty dollar bill it cost me. The only downfall of the night was that she was under the weather with a cold/flu coming on, but we soldiered through (the tickets were pre-purchased). It was so beautiful and big, and funny! I forgot how funny. The Lion brought down the house! As ever, I thought the Straw Man was terribly sexy (if only Dorothy'd been legal, damn it) and the Tin Man was terribly gay.

And, also as ever, this struck me through as my favorite line in the whole movie:

"Hearts will never be practical until they can be made unbreakable."

I think it's the only true and wonderful thing the Wizard says.

This is the best interview I've seen in a while, bar none:

Diablo Cody and Peter Travers

1.) Because I want to hate her but I can't because I love her so much - and she says that she would be the leader of her own backlash if she were an outsider looking in.

2.) Because she's totally fucking sick of talking about being a stripper (which comes up in EVERY SINGLE INTERVIEW conducted by a man) but she's still gracious about it (and she says why in the interview).

3.) Because I find her deliciously sexy in so many ways. I love her high heels in this one, and I like the way she speaks - vocabulary, enunciation, unabashed curse words (unabashed is my favorite word right now). For fuck's sake, she says "disingenuous" - I don't think I even know how to spell that word...check here for me, wouldja?

4.) Because I really think she's an incredible writer and I like hearing her take on what she's already accomplished so damn quickly.

I'm having trouble with sweets again. First it was blueberry cobbler, then it was Coldstone (cheesecake ice cream with brownie mix-in), and today it's donuts. I just want to raid a donut shop and tear that shit up.

Hide your cookies, people. You could be next.

It was girl's night out for me and the little voice in my head, her choice because she was being rewarded for good behavior. She chose Ponyo - I couldn't have been more delighted as I thought I'd be forced to suffer G-Force or Aliens in the Attic. (okay, maybe i'm exaggerating. i heart talking animal movies, so i would have been very likely to enjoy G-Force. the other one, with the disney tweener mafia, not so much.) And I tell you, the Ponyo song is ever so much cuter when it's my muppet singing it. Albeit incessantly.

So, we see this Ponyo, a new film by the same creator of Spirited Away which by all critical accounts was a masterpiece. I haven't seen that one yet, so I can't judge. But this new one was really good in a lot of ways, until there were some gaping, major problems with the characterization of the mother of the main little boy character. (SPOILERS AHEAD)

IS NO ONE BOTHERED BY THE FACT THAT SHE LEFT HER 5-YEAR-OLD SON AND HIS NEW MAGICAL 5-YEAR-OLD FRIEND ALONE DURING A TSUNAMI THAT HAD WATER LEVELS RISING TO ABOVE THEIR HOUSE JUST AFTER SHE ALMOST KILLED THEM TRYING TO GET HOME????

And she told him she trusted him to take care of himself and his new friend because he was really smart. No pressure. And if, you know, this killer storm doesn't subside, make sure you put on a life jacket. Here's some sandwiches, hon. I'm gonna go save some old people who ARE ALREADY BEING TAKEN CARE OF.

Then we left for a bathroom break and I think it might have been at a critical moment, because after that I was sort of confused by the last twenty minutes.

Meh. Anime. What's a white girl gonna do?

**i tried to find the theme song for your listening pleasure, but all they have on youtube is the gay-ass disneyfied remix version of what is actually a really cute little song IF DISNEY COULD JUST LEAVE SHIT ALONE! sorry. still bitter about that marvel thing.

I've been having strange dreams again lately. Most of them are so strange in tone and content that the next morning I can't even articulate what they're about. And they always make me tired. But the last two nights I can describe.

The first dream, Tuesday night, involved David Letterman. He was a real estate agent now and showing me around all kinds of three-bedroom rentals. The last one he showed me was still filled with the owner's furniture, and it was messy. The kitty litter needed changing. (When I woke up Wednesday morning, the first thing I heard when I got into the car was a David Letterman Show clip from the night before.)

Then last night's dream had Chris Martin from Coldplay attending one of my family's gatherings. My younger sister was hostess and led me over to him, saying, "I think you know who this is..." And I did. (When I woke up this morning, the first thing I heard when I got into the car was a Coldplay song.)

It's all very strange, and I'm becoming convinced that I make things happen with my mind.

So tonight I will dream about opening up my closet to find a bottomless bank safe filled with money, and money, and money.

I was going to keep my thoughts about my Denver friend to myself, however, after our lovely visit this weekend, I must share at least one fun fact about him: despite being relentlessly straight, he unabashedly expresses his admiration for both Justin Timberlake and Brad Pitt. JT because, above and beyond his singing and dancing chops, he's a funny guy with a sense of humor about himself AND a great golfer. As for Pitt, it's because he's fecking PITT.

Also I wanted to share a convo between me and the little voice in my head, just after I explained to her that the neuropsych evaluation she just had revealed she has an astounding sense of recall and an equally fantastic learning curve.

Her: I have a mind like a donkey.

Me (turning completely around from my baking project to get a load of this): I'm sorry?

Her: I have a mind like a donkey.

Me: What do you mean?

Her: When I went to *Mining Town with Lots of History* I learned that they used donkeys for labor because you only have to teach a donkey something one time and it always remembers it.

Me: Hunh. I guess we both have minds like donkeys.

Lately I've been getting this strange tingling sensation that Meryl Streep might be one of my people.

Here's one reason I might be feeling this way.

Here's maybe another.

Plus, during the questionnaire at the end of her episode of Inside the Actor's Studio, she said her favorite word was "coconut milk" (she explained it was actually her young daughter's favorite word, but the one that automatically popped into her head when he asked her).

Which put a look on my face similar to this: