Fucking MEN.

I'm losing my ability to feel excited about them. They are killing all my hetero urges. And I once had many of them.

The only thing that's saving me on this straight lifestyle deal is something I read yesterday in a story by Sherman Alexie called "War Dances." He says: "Mothers are almost always better men than men are." I'm not saying it's true, I'm not saying it's not true. I just like that this guy has a brain in his head and a penis that he seems to actively use with his wife, who has also happened to bear him some children.

I'm fucking irritated, and have been so for about two weeks. I swear to Hey Zeus Crisco if someone doesn't save it soon for the home team, I'm gonna look into sewing my vagina shut.

I'm trying to turn it around, but fellas - HELP A SISTAH OUT.

I'm not a guy. I'm not a "buddy" or a "pal." I'm not a saint. I'm not a whore either. I'm not a cook, or a housekeeper, or a secretary - I was not created to serve you in any way, in fact - I believe I was created to be an EQUAL. I'm not gonna sit around on hold or pretend I don't want what I want just to make you feel safe and comfortable. I'm not gonna listen to office tantrums or tolerate bullshit orders.

I am provocative. I am powerful. I am a paragon of femininity.

I know this is all confusing for the poor testosterone nation. Fucking deal with it.