A couple things, and I'm going out of order.

I just watched Rachel Getting Married. Difficult, watching the dysfunctional family dramas especially revolving mother-daughter issues and completely justifiable mutual angst. This one is worth the tension in the pit of my stomach and the clenching of my jaw. Princess Diaries Hathaway, I must say, is blowing me away lately. In this and in Brokeback Mountain she does amazing things. And the script does amazing things. Hath plays a messed up drug addict who, at the age of 16, accidentally caused her baby brother's death. She plays all of it super well, especially the selfishness that is laced most heavily with self-loathing. And the selfishness almost clouds everything until she makes an assertion that is most accurate and astute, in my parental opinion, and which drives her mother to punch her in the mouth. It's a fantastic scene. I wanted to see Hathaway go full throttle UFC on the bitch, but the director took it in another direction. Which is probably a good thing.

I read a new Dennis Lehane yesterday, and it was awesome and I'm totally excited about it because Scorsese is gonna direct Leo in the film version and it's called Shutter Island so keep your eyes and ears open - I think it will be another master work. Lehane tends to translate very well into film.

I COOKED SO MUCH THIS WEEKEND. It felt good, too. Cooking is one of the things that keeps me rooted to the real world, makes me feel like I know how to use my hands and body productively.

The Menu:

Beef Stroganoff
Chili w/ ground beef
Beans (used the last of my stash for the chili - and may the gods bless my crockpot w/ eternal life and love)
Peach Freezer Jam
Homemade Mac and Cheese
Yellow Cupcakes w/ Scratch Chocolate Frosting (which I made last weekend for the little voice in my head and the munchkin alliance but I didn't actually try until this weekend so I'm counting them on this list and they were unbelievably good and I'm not patting myself on the back because I would say that about anyone's glorious cupcakes not just mine)

I was hungry. I'm actually still hungry.

We now find ourselves slap in the middle of my month-long celebration of birth, and as usually happens right around this time, I can't fit any of my shorts or work pants. But that's cool.
Because you know why? Pie. You know why else? Dresses.

So - a few things that have hit me in the head and lodged themselves in the cerebral cortex:

True Blood, also known in my circle as Vamporn.

Cadillac Ranch, the home of the turkey reuben and loaded baked potato soup.

Rhubarb Pie. Which must be good for me since it's made with vegetables.

Babies. Not my fault. Over the weekend I was surrounded by cute fat babies who love me.

Barnes & Noble. I have 16.99 plus tax burning a hole right through me trying to figure out what I'm gonna get.

Young men wandering around the world, just waiting to charm the pants off me. Had a flirtatious waiter who not only bantered with me intelligently, but he brought me a good sandwich. I think if I'd stayed longer he'd've asked me what my favorite pie was, baked it himself, and rubbed my neck and shoulders while I ate it.

Siiiiggghhhh.....Happy Birthday to me....

The little voice in my head is on vacay. I have myself completely to myself, and I haven't done a thing. Today was completely useless because my womanhood asserted itself which always results in fatigue, illness and severe cramping. Plus my stomach hurt in the acidic way as well. By three o'clock in the afternoon people were looking at me funny and offering me coffee. I couldn't complete sentences.

I came home to lay down with my heating pad and slept until eight o'clock. Now I'm on the couch watching one of my favorite stories, The Royal Tenenbaums.

Something has been niggling at me. My brownskin twin and I were talking about me and men. She always asks me what I'm looking for - usually in terms of characteristics and types of men. This time she asked me what I'm looking for as far as what type of relationship - boytoy or boyfriend?

I told her a.) I'm not looking for anything because when you're looking for something, you'll make it happen with the wrong person and b.) I don't really know what I want, but I hope I'll know it when I see it. She asserted that I need to figure out what I want. Which left me wondering.

Then I watched Stranger than Fiction again last night, and it struck me that the resulting relationship of that story is a pretty nice model of what I might want. At one point, they are at her house, and they sit on her couch and watch an old movie together after she's made him meatloaf and chocolate pudding. It looked really nice. I like those kinds of stories, where the love interests are just nice to each other, and do normal things together, and it's all pretty easy-going. I had a moderately dramatic childhood, so I'm not on the market for anymore excitement. I prefer the idea of laughing together on the couch, watching comedy to the idea of flying off to moonlit Paris on a moment's notice.


I'm okay with meatloaf and chocolate pudding. It sounds pretty good to me.