I'm on the couch with wicked stomach pain, so here are a few random thoughts and tidbits that have been flashing through my mind repeatedly.

Read this, not just because it's funny. Not just because it reminds me of the Elle MacPherson incident. And not just because the Fug Girls RAWK. Read it because, frankly, I don't think Biel is all that fantastic to look at.

The little voice in my head keeps coming home drenched in men's cologne. It happens to be Curve, which I happen to like, but a.) cologne is hard on my eyes and b.) it's disconcerting to have a scent that makes my thighs twitch emanating from my daughter. Really. Very. Wrong. Plus, it gives off the impression that there's a man wandering around my house and I don't know where he's hiding. Also disconcerting.

Top Three Tarantino Movies (in my opinion) and Why I Like Them So:

Kill Bill Volume 2: The pregnancy test scene and the convo with Kiddo's would-be assassin that ends with the would-be assassin backing away and offering her congratulations.

Pulp Fiction: The Wolf raises his mug in praise of Jimmy's coffee, and Jimmy's tirade about why he doesn't want to help them clean up the mess in the car.

Death Proof: Zoe Bell and Kim's argument about playing Ship's Mast and Kim's response to Zoe Bell's offer of best-friendship.